Lent day 42

Maundy Thursday.

The day when Jesus had to face all the possibilities without any of the certainty of what was going to happen.   The day when Judas might have decided not to betray Him .  The day when God might have answered His prayer in the garden and let the cup pass him by.  The day when His friends might have remained awake and vigilant and interceding for Him.   How stressful must this day have been for Jesus?   So stressful that He sweat drops of blood over it.

I have a friend who's son had a car accident a while ago.  It was his fault. People were hurt.   And now there is a court case coming up and he has no idea what is going to happen.  It is entirely possible that he will be sent to prison for a while.   His Mum is trying so hard to trust it all to God - but its incredibly difficult.   Not knowing what is going to happen is one of the hardest things we have to deal with as human beings.

We all go through hard things.   Illness and accident, bereavement and relationship breakdown, empty nests and the loss of friendships.  Sometimes we watch the clouds looming on the horizon and we know what is coming.   We cant make it stop and we cant make it come any faster.  We just have to wait in the tension of not knowing.  Bracing ourselves for the impact.   This is how I imagine Jesus felt on Maundy Thursday.

Jesus had seen people being flogged before.  He had witnessed crucifixions - they were commonplace in those days. So He knew what He was facing.  But I'm guessing He had no idea how He would cope with what was about to happen to Him.  I remember going into hospital to have Sam.  Id seen plenty of telly programmes about babies being born.  I knew it was going to be very painful and that there might be complications.   I hoped Id be able to cope.  But I had no idea if I would or not until I was in the throes of labour.    We just cannot know until it happens to us.  I didnt handle childbirth with anything like the composure and grace that I'd hoped I might.   But then again it was a lot more gruesome than I had thought it would be  My 10lb baby got stuck.  And funnily enough throughout the whole time they were trying to extricate him I was thinking ' Jesus took my pain.  Jesus took the curse of the pain of childbirth.   Jesus suffered more than this.  I can do this'.    I think I was saying that out loud whilst the doctors were going in with the forceps to drag Sam into the world.

I have no idea if Jesus could have backed out.   Im pretty sure He could have done.  Im absolutely sure He thought about it.  He was tempted in every way as we are - and how often are we tempted to avoid pain, take the easy route, run away when things get tough?   But He didnt.  He said  ' Not my will but Yours'.   Awesome.