Lent Day 11

Don't know about you, but I find it alarming how quickly I can be thrown off course by the smallest things .    I woke up this morning in a perfectly good mood.   It's Saturday.   Keith took the boys off to play football without making too much of a din so although I did wake up briefly, I managed to go back to sleep.   He even remembered to let the dog out so I didnt have to drag myself out of bed at 8am.   I was cozy and comfy with nothing to do except enjoy that first cup of coffee in peace.   Perfect.

And then....

And then the phone rings,  or the post arrives, or a text pings.... someone interrupts.  Something happens to disrupt the selfish, cozy comfort of my morning.   It is only a word.  A request.  A reminder.  A complaint.  A demand.  A suggestion.   Whatever it is it doesnt really matter.  What Im getting at is how quickly the sense of peace is replaced by a sense of grumpy outrage /resentment /negativity.  Am I the only person who feels like that?  I'm guessing probably not , but I do sometimes feel like the worst person in the world.

And the trouble is that once my peace has been disrupted I find it really hard to get back to peace again.   It's like dieting.  A week of eating at Christmas and it takes me a year of dieting to get rid of the half stone I put on.   There is something deeply unfair about the universe!!!!   I shall be having a word with God about that when I eventually meet Him face to face.   :-)


Years and years ago when I first became a Christian someone gave me this.

 A dead person doesnt mind what happens to them really.  It's the 'self' in me which responds so negatively to all the annoying irritations of life. My 'self' is live and kicking most of the time and its a daily effort to put it to death and allow the self of Jesus to reign.

Lent is a time to focus on dying to self.   It is why we give up chocolate or coffee or facebook and deny our 'selves' the things they crave in order to put Jesus first.   Giving up sugar in your tea is a matter of willpower.  Giving up selfishness is a matter of surrender.   As I approach Easter and consider again the huge sacrifice Jesus made for me, I once again surrender my stubborn selfish will to Him and open my spirit to be filled by His Spirit of selfless love.