Lent Day 40

This week we are thinking about those last days of Jesus as He prepares to go to the cross.   What would you do if you knew you had only four days left on this earth?   Who would you want to see?  What would you want to say to them?  Why?

I'm really not sure what I would do.  Would it be worth trying to see everyone who means something to me in order to,.... well, I dont know, maybe have one last hug?  Or would that all just be too sad and a bit pointless.  Maybe better for them not to know at all.   I suppose I'd want to have as much time as possible with my children.  Telling them I love them and giving them as much comfort as I could about my forthcoming demise.

When I was born my mother started writing me a letter.  She wrote it on and off for eighteen years and gave it to me on my eighteenth birthday.   It is full of news about what I was doing at various points in my life as well as what we as a family were up to.  It charts the death of grandparents who I barely remember. Moves of house.  Divorce from my Dad and subsequent remarriage.   There is some advice in there about how to be happy and how to avoid unhappiness.  She tells me the price of a loaf of bread and how much a gallon of petrol costs.  Its just a fascinating, deeply personal history of me.  I have done the same for my boys.... adding to their letters every now and again whenever I have something to say to them.  It is a good way of letting them know things I cant tell them face to face as young children.  So that if I dont make old bones I shall know that they will have my words to carry with them into their adult lives.  For what they are worth.

In the Gospels we see Jesus sitting down with his disciples to have a final serious talk.  And its not a pleasant one.   In Mark 13 we see Him talking about the coming persecution - the fact that the disicples will be arrested and tried and some will die for following Jesus.  He talks about the destruction of the temple and the signs in nature which will herald the end of the age.   It is serious

stuff.  The disciples must have been terrified.   They didnt appreciate that this was one of the last times Jesus would sit down with them for a proper talk - but He was taking the opportunity to pass onto them the most important things He could before His time was up.    His message was simply this ' Guys, things are going to get worse, and then worse again.  But it's all part of the plan.  Dont give up.  Dont despair or think Ive forsaken you.   I havent.  Im coming back.  But before I do there will be suffering and pain.  Br brave.  God is still in control.'

Jesus's words to His beloved disciples, my words to my kids, are to help prepare, in some small way, for what comes next.   We are still living in the time Jesus spoke about.  Things are getting worse.  Wars and rumours of wars.  Signs on the earth and in the heavens above.   But we need to hold on to His words

28 “Now learn this lesson from the fig tree: As soon as its twigs get tender and its leaves come out, you know that summer is near. 29 Even so, when you see these things happening, you know that it[d] is near, right at the door. 30 Truly I tell you, this generation will certainly not pass away until all these things have happened. 31 Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away. ( Mark 13)

Whatever my kids have to face in life they will know that their Mum has loved them and tried to prepare them as best she can for life out there in the big wide word.  They will carry my words with them  as I have carried my Mother's words with me.  And as we all carry God's word with us to help us navigate the days ahead whatever they may bring.

Lent Day 39

And now for something completely different.

This is a twenty minute, beautiful and moving film which I strongly urge you to watch with a cup of tea in a moment of peace and quiet.  You wont regret it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_MCwlY6zzg

lent day 38

Donkeys

Im pinching this from Mervyns sermon this morning.  Cos it was good and I'd never seen it before.

Matthew 21 New International Version (NIV)   

Jesus Comes to Jerusalem as King

21 As they approached Jerusalem and came to Bethphage on the Mount of Olives, Jesus sent two disciples, 2 saying to them, “Go to the village ahead of you, and at once you will find a donkey tied there, with her colt by her. Untie them and bring them to me. 3 If anyone says anything to you, say that the Lord needs them, and he will send them right away.”

4 This took place to fulfill what was spoken through the prophet:

5 “Say to Daughter Zion,
    ‘See, your king comes to you,
gentle and riding on a donkey,
    and on a colt, the foal of a donkey.’”[a]

6 The disciples went and did as Jesus had instructed them. 7 They brought the donkey and the colt and placed their cloaks on them for Jesus to sit on. 8 A very large crowd spread their cloaks on the road, while others cut branches from the trees and spread them on the road. 9 The crowds that went ahead of him and those that followed shouted,

“Hosanna[b] to the Son of David!”

“Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!”[c]

“Hosanna[d] in the highest heaven!”

10 When Jesus entered Jerusalem, the whole city was stirred and asked, “Who is this?”

11 The crowds answered, “This is Jesus, the prophet from Nazareth in Galilee.”

This morning, instead of drawing our attention to the usual things preached about from this passage, Mervyn focused in on the donkey.  And pointed out some details I had never thought about before.  Im not a horsey person, so I dont know an awful lot about how horses work, but I do know enough to realise that you dont just jump on the back of a young animal that has never been saddled or sat upon before.  But that is just what Jesus did.  He specifically asked for an unbroken, unbridled, unschooled young animal to ride.  Madness.  If you or I tried that we would be bucked off within a minute.

Why did He do that?   Yes, of course the entering Jerusalem on a donkey thing was to fulfil the prophecy about the Messiah.  But He could have chosen a mature animal used to carrying people.  I've been thinking about it all morning, since Mervyn pointed it out.  Mervyn commented that Jesus was coming as the Prince of Peace - and that His very presence on the back of the animal brought instant peace and calm.  He has authority over every living thing.  He is King of the universe and the wind and waves obey Him - so its not surprising that a donkey would obey Him too.   But I also wonder if Jesus wasnt showing us something else too.   He specialises in seeking out the young, unbroken rather wild ones and taming them.  The presence of Jesus can transform the most unlikely lives.   Here in Northern Ireland there are plenty of people who once upon a time were angry young men caught up in the ' troubles'.  Men of violence and bloodshed who met Jesus and were instantly calmed and transformed.  And who now carry His presence with them wherever they go.

Not only did this donkey carry Jesus as his first ever mount... he carried Him through crowds of cheering yelling people waving things about and throwing things down on the road in front of him.   When you think of the amount of training police horses have to undergo to be able to deal with crowd situations..... this poor donkey was ' thrown in the deep end'.  And yet he apparently simply walked on through the crowds unphased by the surrounding hulaballoo.   This is what Jesus can do for us too.   When we are faced with potentially scary, chaotic and unpredictable situations we have never faced before.  If we carry Jesus with us He navigates us through and His presence brings peace in the midst of it all.

And here is an afterthought.   If we carry Jesus with us maybe we too can have the effect on animals that He had.  I would love to think that my spirit might be so attuned to nature and so at one with that of the Creator that I could commune with animals in the way St Francis did :-)    Something to aim for perhaps?

lent day 37

Miracle required.

Cant think of how to follow on from yesterday - so Im going to take a completely different tack and ask you all to pray for some people.  I'd like to ask that today we pray for the impossible ones.   Those people who need a miracle and nothing else will do.   You can use this post to ask us to pray for those you know too.  So we can get a sort of international prayer chain going for the next 24 hours.  :-)

So, here are my requests.  Please add your own into the comments section on Facebook and then hopefully everyone who reads this will add their Amen.

Angie

Could you please pray for Angie who is 48, a mother of two and who has cancer.  She is fighting a very good fight and knows the presence of God through it all.  But she wants more years than the doctors have given her.  Please pray that she will get them

And for Bill who is now bedbound suffering from a chronic, rare wasting disease.  Another truly remarkable man of faith who suffers horrendous pain all the time.  Nobody knows how he is still alive.  Before he got sick he was in his car at a roundabout with his window wound down and a motorcyclist drove up beside him. lifted his visor and said '  God says - the Sun of righteousness will rise with healing in His wings'   then drove off.   It made no sense at the time.   It does now.  Please pray for a miracle for Bill.

Me with Janice and Bill in church a while back.

lent Day 36

Gay wedding cakes.   What do you think about that then?

Its all over the news in Northern Ireland  and has been for weeks here - the Christian bakery in Belfast which refused to ice a cake with a gay slogan.   Today it has come to court amid huge publicity all round the world, protests held by both ' sides'  and much debate in public and private about the whole issue of freedom to believe verses discrimination.

Its been on my mind to write something about this for days and days, but Ive held back because, to be honest, I dont know what to say about it.  Im not even sure that I know what to think.

It is fascinating how something as simple as a cake can have sparked such a huge debate.   The gay lobby have said that businesses cant be allowed to discriminate about who they serve and sell to.  But that's nonsense.  Businesses have always discriminated, have always ' chosen' who to serve and sell to.   Pubs refuse to sell more alcohol to people they deem to have had enough.   Hotels just tell people they are full when they dont want to accommodate certain guests.  You only have to watch the programmes about Gypsy weddings to know how often businesses turn down people they dont like the look of.   It seems to me that if you are selling something to someone you have every right to decide who you want to sell to. You dont have a contract with the purchaser until money is on the table.  ( Which is where the Asher bakery went wrong.  They took the man's money.  Then they reneged on the contract)

However, on the other side of the argument I genuinely dont believe that people should be allowed to get away with blatant discrimination.  We are so far past the days of signs in B& B windows saying No Blacks, No Irish No Dogs.   We all know what happens when a swathe of the population is denied access to services.  We end up with a holocaust.  So.......  is there a middle line?  Or is compromise part of the problem?  Or is lack of a willingness of compromise the problem?   Eeeeeeek

What would Jesus do?

If someone came to Jesus and asked Him to bake a cake with a slogan promoting gay marriage - what would He do?

I suspect that He would have a conversation.

And thats the thing that was missing in the Belfast cake case.  The man who placed the order paid his money and went away happy enough then two days later was contacted to say he couldnt have his cake.  There was no conversation at the time of ordering.  No explanation.  No face to face human contact whereby the position of the bakery was explained carefully and graciously in a way that the customer could discuss and argue with and possibly even understand.   Jesus would have handled it differently without a doubt.  He would not have made a gay man feel small and rejected.
Knowing Jesus, He would have found a way to hold a line of faith and personal belief without causing any offence whatsoever.  The only people Jesus ever offended when He was here were the religious people.   The people who were marginalised and outcast and misunderstood - He loved those people.  Regardless of what the wider society thought.  

Increasingly we as Christians are going to have to get to grips with subjects ( and people ) which
make us feel uncomfortable.  Today I was having a conversation with someone about what God thinks about being transgender.  You might think its an issue which wouldnt arise very often so we can avoid having to think about it.  But in the past few years I've come across four people who have had to face the dilemma of feeling that they are living in the wrong body.  Four.  And I live in Northern Ireland.  Which is a very small place indeed and where people dont talk about things like that.  

We need to know what we think about these things.   Church needs to teach clearly and with huge compassion - not just so that we know the theory, but so that we can be Jesus to a hurting, confused, angry, messed up world.  It's not about cake.   It is about winning people not losing them.
I shall be watching the developments in the Asher bakery case with interest and praying that somehow through the publicity God might be seen as the loving kind saviour He is and not the small minded, prejudiced legalist the media would so often want to convey.

lent Day 35

I had a truly horrible morning today.  ( Are you sitting comfortably?  Then I'll begin..... )

It started when Keith told me he couldnt stay home as he usually does on a Wednesday to see Ben off to school.  I have to be in to work early on a Wed.  He usually goes into the office a bit later - but not today.   So I had to hastily arrange to drop Ben off at a friends house before school.   Ben wasnt wildly happy about the last minute change of plans and was dragging his feet getting ready.  I did a bit of chivvying and finally got him into the car when I realised I didn't have the car keys.   Which had been in my hand five minutes previously.  They had vanished.  Completely.
I turned the house upside down and couldn't find them even though I knew they were there somewhere.  I was getting frantic cos I knew Id be late for work.  The roads are dug up and closed so there's a diversion which takes an extra ten minutes to negotiate as it is.   Aaarrrrgh.   I was getting upset.  Which isn't like me - but it was all going pear shaped.   Ben got out of the car to help me look for the keys.  And he reminded me that I have a spare car key.  Bless him.  Yes , I do!  Brilliant.
Got the spare car key.  Decided that Id just have to go to work and leave the house unlocked ( house key and car keys on same ring)  Jumped in to start the car..... nothing.   That horrible sound of dead battery.    I couldn't believe it!

SO at this point I worked out that I wasn't going to get to work.  I phoned my boss.   Her phone was off.   I phoned her other number and left a rather stressed message on the answering machine .  Then I sent a text to the nursery I was supposed to be doing a Jo Jingles class in half an hours time and told them the car was dead and I wouldn't make it.

Sent Ben off to school.   He was worrying about me because I was upset and agitated and cross that I couldn't find the keys.   I went back into the house thinking that if I was going to be at home all day I had better search every inch of the house to find the keys.   And guess what?   They were on the kitchen table right in front of me.   I swear to you I had looked under and over every item on the kitchen table four or five times......   How does that happen???   Hidden in plain sight.   Bizzare.

By this time I was so late - but I went back to try the car again and because I was using the proper key was able to disengage the immobliser - car leaped into life and off I went.   Was late for everything for the rest of the morning.  But at least I got there and didn't disappoint the thirty odd kids who look forward to me coming to see them every week.

On the way home I was pondering the events of this morning.   Its always tempting to blame that sort of stuff on enemy activity.  It certainly felt as though someone was deliberately sabotaging my attempts to get to work today.  A succession of really annoying and unplanned events within the space of an hour or so completely robbed me of any sense of peace and perspective.  But perhaps it was God who hid my keys.   Maybe I needed to be delayed today.  For some reason I dont understand.    I know Ben was praying for me on the way to school - and that in those few minutes I found the keys and was able to get going.   So maybe the whole episode was engineered by God to show Ben that his prayers are powerful and effective.  ( I prayed as soon as I realised the keys werent there - my prayers obviously dont pack as much of a punch :-)  )

It strikes me that we live in the tension of not knowing alot of the time.  Things happen ( or dont happen) and we can only guess at the reasons why.  We are in a battle , we definitely have an enemy who is out to steal and lie and ultimately kill us.  But our God is greater.  We are in His hands.  Under the shadow of His wings.  He turns what the enemy means for evil into good.  All things work together for the good.......

Sometimes it is hard to see how the bereavement or the illness or the divorce or the redundancy can possibly be anything other than negative.  It is hard to believe that God can bring a silver lining out of the clouds.  Especially when the clouds have been glowering over us for months or years.   But He can.  And He does.  We have to be looking up to see the silver and focus on the lining rather than the clouds.

Tomorrow is another day.

I wonder where I put my keys.

lent Day 34

One of my favourite programmes on the telly of late has been Long Lost Family.   Its a show where people are reunited - often adopted children with their birth parents, sometimes siblings who didnt know each other existed.   It is always interesting and emotional to watch because the stories are about real people's lives and the reunions are always so highly charged.    Sometimes people have
been looking for each other for decades.  They have searched endless records and come to dead ends over and over again.  But with the huge resources of a television channel behind them and the research facilities at their disposal, ITV can manage to find people that private individuals cant.


Tonight Im watching it again.  It's one Ive seen before but it seems just as powerful the second time round.  And it got me to wondering what it is which makes it such good television.

I suppose the bottom line is that we can all identify with being lost.   Somewhere deep down we all have a sense that something vital is missing.  Our identity is incomplete.   Even if we have lived in beautiful families and have felt hugely loved and have lived charmed lives, we can still ache inside when we are presented with a narrative about being lost and found.  Because fundamentally we are all like those children who have been brought up by adoptive parents.   God is our real father.  He has given us over for a short time to be brought up in families.  But we have always been His and we are destined to be reuinted with Him in a heavenly homecoming one day.   As we look forward to celebrating Easter very soon we remember that Jesus came looking for us, leaving His home and His Father to walk this Earth and buy us back from the slavery of sin.  He is our brother and He is going to present us to His father and ours in a huge reunion party at the end of the age.  What a party that will be!  Can't wait!

lent Day 33

There are certain words which seem to catch on in the language and develop a life of their own.    For an entire history of the world they don't feature significantly at all, and then something happens and all of a sudden everywhere you go there's that pesky word.
I first noticed this when the word ' iconic' started to be bandied about.  Seriously, it gets applied to everything from David Beckham to ice cream - it's ridiculous.  I used to play a game of counting how many times the BBC breakfast news would use the word in one morning.   It got to be more than annoying.   And still is.

Then it was the turn of the word ' insurgent'.   Have you noticed how everyone is an insurgent these days.  They arent a guerilla or a mercenary or a terrorist.

And now its the word radicalisation.   Aaaarrrrgh.  Stop it!   Today Theresa May was on the news going on about new legislation aimed to stop people from becoming 'radicalized'.   But what does that mean?  According to the dictionary

1. Radicalization (or radicalisation) is a process by which an individual or group comes to adopt increasingly extreme political, social, or religious ideals and aspirations that (1) reject or undermine the status quo or (2) reject and/or undermine contemporary ideas and expressions of freedom of choice.
2. Which makes Jesus a prime suspect for being out of favour.   And makes His disciples every bit as ' dangerous' as members of ISIS.   
3. We need to be careful as we legislate away the rights of people to be radical.  Whilst it all seems very reasonable on the surface of it - who doesnt want to stop nutters with bombs blowing up innocent civilians and destroying whole cultures? - we might just be signing our own death warrants.   As Christians we are called to adopt extreme religious ideals and aspirations which reject the status quo.   Is it not increasingly our role to question contemporary ideas and expressions of freedom of choice as the world heads into a hedonistic morass of self-serving madness?
4. Just posing the question.

Lent day 32

They are re-burying Richard 3rd this week amongst much pomp and circumstance.

Everyone knew he was killed at the battle of Bosworth - it was well chronicled and there were plenty of eye witnesses who saw the poor chap meet his rather grizzly end.  It was also known that he was hastily buried in Greyfriars in Leicester - and that his resting place was lost in the chaos of the Reformation.   It took 500 years for him to be found again.  And this week we shall watch the last of the Plantaganet kings be given a right royal re-burial in Leicester Cathedral.  Im sure it will be quite a spectacle

2000 years ago another King was killed on the field of battle.  His death was witnessed and recorded by many.  He too was placed in a makeshift grave.  But unlike Richard, his bones have never been found.  Despite many many people standing to gain massively from being able to produce them almost from the moment of his death.

The Romans knew where Jesus was buried - they posted soldiers at the tomb to guard if from possible grave robbers.  They knew fine well that there was the possibility that someone would want to remove his body for political or religious purposes and they were determined to avoid that at all costs.  

Jesus's followers knew where He was buried.  They had taken Him down from the cross and hastily prepared His body just before the sabbath started.  They were ready to complete the process after the sabbath had finished.   The final resting place was not a secret.

The religious authorities also knew where He was.  They were glad to see the back of Him and thought that His death nipped in the bud a possible dangerous and difficult uprising.  They had a vested interest in being able to prove He was dead and buried - gone for good.  Over and done with.  Ended and finished.  Full stop.

And yet..... and yet....

When it came to the crunch the Romans and the religious authorities were unable to bring out the body or bones of Jesus.   And for the past 2000 years nobody has been able to do that either.
Because there are no bones.  There is no body.  Three days after interment Jesus walked out of His tomb and a short while later He bodily ascended into heaven.

So this week as we watch an English King being laid to rest in the pomp and ceremony of a regal funeral service let us rejoice that we worship a risen Lord.  His bones are with the rest of Him seated at the right hand of the Father.  He is the only risen, everlasting, eternal King.  And He is ours.

lent day 31

Walking in someone elses shoes.

In my attempts to purge the house of unwanted and unnecessary stuff Ive been up in the attic today sorting out the shoes.   When you have three boys its amazing how many shoes you have.  They each have school shoes, gym shoes, slippers, pumps, sandals, wellies, football boots ( with varying arrangements of studs depending on the playing surface) wet shoes ( for the wetsuits) as well as any number of trainers and casual shoes.  If they dont get trashed along the way ( and things like the footie boots are worn once a week for a very short time before they are grown out of)  they get put up in the roof for the next boy to grow into.

Except of course one forgets.  And then on a day like today I go up there and root through a huge pile of shoes and realise that half of them are now too small for Ben!   So out they go.  Very satisfying.

It got me to thinking about wearing handed down shoes . And walking in the shoes of those who have gone before us.

We all do it - we stand on the shoulders of giants.  Starting with the disicples we owe all that we know of the life of Jesus to those who have gone before.  The heroes of the faith - most of whom are nameless and faceless to us but who are seated in heavenly places with great honour.  I cant wait to meet them.  People who risked everything to bring us The Lord.  Those who preached, translated and printed the Bible, were martyred for proclaiming truth.  Those who were faithful Sunday by Sunday in showing generations of children the way to Jesus.   Without all of those people I would not have the faith I have today.

And then there are the specific individuals who went before me.  The leaders of the youth group where I first heard the gospel.  Rupert Madeley who prayed me in, bought me my first Bible, explained so much of what was, at that time, still a mystery to me.   Ted Collington, my first pastor - who put up with alot of nonsense from a very wild but super keen young Christian and helped to ground me in good teaching and lay the basis for a solid character.  My amazing church family in Edinburgh ( you know who you are)  who for ten years discipled and loved and rebuked and taught and showed me God in action.  And gave me the most amazing opportunities to watch, try, fail and then succeed in so many areas.  Especially the prophetic.   Brian and Shirley Hayes.  Colin Symes, David Hewitt, Rupert Ward, Bill Nisbet.   I owe these good and godly people so much.  Thank you.  Yours are big shoes and following the ways in which you guys have walked has been a challenge.

As I look behind me and see where I have walked its an immense privilege to see that a few people are also following in my footsteps.   My children ( I hope) and a handful of precious friends who have been influenced by some of the things I have said and shared and done and prayed over the past few years.   Its an honour and a huge responsibility.  And quite a thought - all those footprints over two thousand years leading onwards and upwards to heaven .

Lent day 30

Profound thoughts on a solar eclipse.

In this part of the world this morning there was much excitement about a solar eclipse visible for most of the UK  ( although not here in Ireland where it was, or course, raining until an hour after the event when the sun came out !!)  Ridiculous amount of coverage of the thing on the telly.  But I felt God speak to me about it.  This is what I thought

The moon is tiny in comparison with the sun.  Its a speck.  Of no significance whatsoever.  And yet when it gets itself in between the sun and the earth it can blot out the light and warmth of that huge star and plunge us into darkness.

This is a picture of what Satan does,

He is insignificant compared with the might and majesty and power of God.  Utterly meaningless. He has no power, no light, no warmth and nothing at all that can do us any good.   His main objective is to get himself between us and God so that the lights go out and darkness descends.   I have friends who are in a very dark place at the moment.  Ive been in darkness myself in the not too distant past.   Its cold and scary and it feels as though God has left and all there is is hopelessness.   But its a matter of perspective.  In a solar eclipse its all about the position of everything relative to everything else.  I think it might be the same spiritually.

God hasnt died, gone away, ceased to exist or even never existed in the first place.   Satan would like to put himself between us and God and tell us so.   But he has always been a liar.  A physical eclipse lasts for a matter of minutes.   A spiritual eclipse can last for longer.  Sometimes much longer.   But just as God has set the sun and the moon on their courses to run to a plan which is in constant motion, so He has set the spiritual world to be in constant motion.   Satan is on his road to eternal doom.   He is marching inexorably towards the day when Jesus wraps it all up and throws away the key.  God is drawing ever closer in anticipation of Jesus return.   We cant stop it.  We cant change it.   It is so.

SO if you are sitting in the dark today, wondering where the sun has gone and trying to remember if it ever shone at all :  if you are cold and miserable and cant see your hand in front of your face....  hang on in there.   This is but a season.  The SUN is still there and Satan is defeated.  Jesus is alive.  Your hope is secure.  One day very soon you will be able to say

LENT DAY 29

Oh for a thousand tongues to sing

the glories of these days of spring

when buds appear and birdsong soars

in loud crescendo o'er the moors

when daffodils and snowdrops rise

beneath the blue benevolent skies

and fish are rising in the lake -

what glories their creator makes!

We dare to hope that winter's past

Our countenances lift at last

and hearts swell to the spring's refrain

as life bursts forth from earth again.

lent Day 28

Short and sweet today.   Or at least not sweet.  As you shall see,

For thirty odd years I have taken sugar in my tea and coffee.  I think it used to be two spoons but over the years I cut down to one.  I have had spells on sweetners ( but they are supposed to be bad for you aren't they?) but have never been motivated to cut out the sweet taste altogether.   Until last Christmas.  When for some reason, between Christmas and New Year, I suddenly decided I was going to give up sugar in my drinks for good.

Now they tell you that it takes your taste buds a short time to acclimatize and that within a couple of weeks you wont notice the difference.  There is also a school of thought which says you have to taste something ten times before you ' like it'.

Not so,

Its now the middle of March and I've only just started to feel that I like the taste of my coffee without sugar.   I drink alot of coffee.  Several cups a day.  And every day since the New Year I have tolerated my unsweetened drink, determined to stick with the plan and push on through.   It has taken MUCH longer than anticipated

And the lesson in this dear friends?   Bad habits are hard to break.  Sometimes very very hard indeed.  We have to re-train ourselves and do things differently ( Ive had to remind people who automatically give me my coffee with sugar that Ive given up.  And for the first couple of weeks I had to remind myself not to reach for the sugar bowl on auto-pilot!)   We might have to remove ourselves from the path of temptation by changing practical things in our lives.   We need to tell people that we are no longer doing that thing - and be accountable if we slip up.   More than anything else we have to be realistic about how long it will take.   The longer established the bad habit the longer it will probably take to break.  We shall get terribly disheartened if we think we can achieve our goals overnight.  Some habits take years to break.   People who give up smoking can still have the cravings for a very long time after they smoked their last.

We all need to do better at the healthy living stuff.  More exercise, less fat, sugar salt. It's hard.   If it wasnt hard we'd all be doing the right thing all the time.   Lent is a time for giving up certain things.  probably some of you will have stopped drinking alcohol or eating chocolate for forty days.  And that is wonderful.   Well done if you have managed it.   If you have done that, then you can do the next thing on your list.   You can cut down your spending, get fitter, write that novel you've been thinking about for ten years.  You can learn a new language or stop watching too much telly or give up Facebook.    You know what it is.   And you can do it.   it just might take longer than you think before its completely out of your system.

Lent Day 27

What is it about human beings that makes it so easy for us to moan and complain about things and so much more difficult to be positive?

I was visiting a friend recently who had been invited out to lunch by mutual friends I hadnt seen for ages.  I was looking forward to hearing all about it and catching up with some news.  But instead all I got was a list of complaints about the food which was served!!!  I felt like yelling ' For goodness sake, the food wasnt the important part - the friendship was, and the fact that you were invited in the first place!!!'    But I didnt.

I am hardly one to judge.  I kinow how easy I find it to be critical or negative.  It just seems so often to be the first response.   The Bible tells us that out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.   So I guess that tells me what my heart is like.   :(  After 30 years as a Christian I still find that moaning is my default setting.   I wonder why God bothers with me!!

It always seems to be easier to be pleasant and upbeat and positive with complete strangers than with those nearest to us.  If you want to know what Im really like ask my husband and kids.  They will tell you that Im grumpy and selfish and negative so much of the time.   I try not to be.  I know its bad.  But somehow they all manage to bring the very worst out of me - they know how to push my buttons and wind me up.  And of course Im with them for hours and hours a day longer than Im with anyone else.  There are fewer places to hide.

Matthew 12:36New International Version (NIV)

36 But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken.

That is one of the scariest verses in the Bible.   EVERY useless, negative, judgemental, critical, self-promoting, untrue, and empty word I have ever spoken will be replayed to me and I shall be judged by what has come out of my mouth.  Not because God is particularly bothered by the words I say, but because those words betray what is in my heart - and He is very interested in that.

So my challenge for the rest of Lent - and for the rest of my life is to be more careful with what comes out of my mouth,   I suspect the key to this is to be more careful about where I let my mind focus.

These words from Philippians 4:8 could be used as a mantra for the way we see, think about and speak of other people.  Lets not focus on what people do wrong, how they annoy us or ways in which they could up their game.   Let's instead focus on the things we appreciate about them,  the potential we see and the lovely and admirable parts of their personalities.    Love covers over a multitude of offences.  

Lent Day 24

Sorry Im late with posting today.  Ive been busy being asleep.  And then was at the healing service in St Annes Cathedral.  Always a good night.

The talk tonight was about the life of St Patrick as it's his day tomorrow.   He was a cool dude.  If you dont know much about him you should check him out.  We also listened to this.  And I cant really think of anything else to say.  So I wont :-)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkLzIeztC3c

lent day 25

Its all for a reason,

The older I get the more I realise that God doesnt say things just for the sake of it.  Nor does He say things for His own benefit.  When He gives us instruction it's because its good for US.

So, for example, the recent craze for 5/2 dieting is based on the science and nutritional data which has discovered that fasting is good for us.  Who would have thought?!   A day of fasting a week reduces cholesterol, the threat of diabetes and cancer, lengthens life...... there are lots of benefits.  Not spiritual ones but physical ones.   God knows this.  Which is why He tells us to fast.  The added bonus of fasting being that we can focus the time we usually spend on eating, on Him  http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/10-benefits-of-fasting-that-will-surprise-you.html

I read recently that circumcision can dramatically lower the incidences of male cancer - especially in black men.  And that it is helpful in preventing sexually transmitted disease and urinary tract infections too.   So it's not just a weird thing God asked His people to do for no apparent reason - it is a practical way of promoting health and avoiding premature death.   Way before science worked this out God was ensuring His people were doing what was best for their bodies.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2860727/Benefits-circumcision-outweigh-risks-Procedure-cuts-risk-HIV-STDs-penile-cancer-official-report-declares.html

A day of rest - its crucial for our wellbeing.  Not just for our physical and psychological health but for our families and our relationships.   God knows that we need to stop, to sleep, to reflect and relax.  He knows that we tend to be ' human doings' instead of ' human beings' and that we will all run ourselves into early graves if we dont have specific instruction to stop.   So He tells us quite clearly in the ten commandments and elsewhere to do NO WORK on one day a week and set that day apart.   If you are like me and like most people I know you are rubbish at this.   But it's important.   God doesnt tell us to rest because He wants us to spend time with Him ( although of course He does) He tells us because it's GOOD for us to rest.   Good for our hearts, our stress levels and our mental health.  He is looking after us.  In all His commandments and rules.
https://www.floridahospital.com/blog/health-benefits-of-rest 

The more I discover the more I realise what good care God takes of His people.  We should never doubt it.  We should trust Him and do what we are told :-)

Lent Day 24

( Can you tell that I've ditched the book I was using?  :-)  Didnt feel inspired by it any more. )

Clearing out the Rubbish


We have lived in this house for fifteen years now.  Over that time we have had three kids and amassed the most incredible amount of stuff.   STUFF has a life of its own - it breeds in the night time.  It invites its friends round when you are not looking.  It especially likes under sink cupboards and attic spaces.  Added to which, Im a bit of a hoarder.  And a compulsive bargain buyer.  So as you can imagine there is not much space in our larger than average five bedroom home any more.

For a few years now Ive been working on Keith - drip feeding him with the idea that in a couple of years time when Ben goes up to high school it will be time to move house.   Keith isnt much of a moving person.  I think he would be happy to stay put in one place till the day he dies.  But it makes no sense for us to live half an hours drive away from schools and an hour drive from his work ....... it just costs a fortune in petrol and adds an hour onto everyone's day travelling.   So we will be moving.  And Im excited about it already

Until I start contemplating the stuff  !!

So even though the move wont be for at least eighteen months Im starting now.   I've been through the bookshelves and taken bags and bags of books to the charity shop.   I've dumped a few bits of furniture which no longer serve a purpose and I've even been up into the roof and had a start on sorting out up there.  Im exhausted - but its rather satisfying.  And the charity shop thinks its great.
What I am learning is that a) we dont need half the stuff we actually have  and b) getting rid of stuff is easier than you think its going to be once you get started.

So whats the spiritual lesson?   Well, lots of lessons really.

1) we settle very easily and the longer we stay in one place the harder it is to move on.  Spiritually I have definitely ' settled' in the past fifteen years.  And it has not necessarily been a good thing.  I've replaced ' this is excellent' with ' this will do'.  I've settled for convenient and easy instead of challenging and dynamic.

2) I gather loads of spiritual 'stuff'  but then don't use it.... or don't use it as fully as I could.   I've had decades of excellent teaching, loads of wonderful experiences with God and shed loads of opportunities to lead worship and pray with people and even preach.... but I tend to put those books on the shelf and leave them there rather than using them every day.

3)In order to move forward you have to keep shedding the things of the past and leaving them behind.   Yes, there are lots of great things accumulated along the way, to be used and put into practice but you cant take all of it with you.  Most of it was for the moment anyway.   It has taken me years to stop trying to relive the ' good old days' and accept that where I am now is where God wants me to be.

Lent is a good time for taking stock.  And a good time for clearing out the junk.  I hope that by Easter I will be feeling more spiritually sharp, divested of some of the dust Ive accumulated recently and with a clearer vision of where Im going next.

Lent Day 23

Its been a mega busy week this week and today I havent really had time to think about the blog.  Ive been covering Jo Jingles classes for Karen who isnt well.  And that means that everything else has been squashed up into the rest of the week - all the cooking and housework and homework and tutoring and piano lessons etc etc etc.  I havent had an afternoon nap any day this week!!!  Its a miracle Im still alive!

Tonight Ive been watching Comic Relief.   Half way through the evening Ben came in and asked if he could have his Christmas money which Ive been keeping for him.   I asked him why.  He didnt say and left the room.    Later he came back with his money box and started hunting around on my dressing table.  I asked him what he was doing.  ' Nothing' he said.  And left again.

Finally I worked out that he was going round the whole house looking for coins.   By the time he had been through every drawer and shelf he had collected a couple of pounds.   I pinned him down and asked him what he needed the money for.  I was expecting that he had seen something in the Toys R Us leaflet which came through the door yesterday or something.    But he said he really wanted to send something to Comic Relief.


Our kids can put us to shame sometimes.

So I reached for the jar in which I throw all the pennies.   We counted up £8 worth.  Ben's excitement was rising.   Finally all the cash he had found, added to what was in his money box came to £26.   So that's what he donated to Comic Relief.   He was in tears as he watched a very sad piece of film about a 3 year old who had died of malaria.   Ben is 9.   His heart is still tender.  His belief in the good is untainted.   His desire to help is fierce.  He has no compassion fatigue, no scepticism, no complacency.   He's a bit like Jesus really.

Lent Day 22

Boredom

For some reason I was thinking about this today and the phrase ' The devil makes work for idle hands to do' came to mind.   Have been chewing on this all morning.  Here's what Ive been thinking.

First off, I dont think boredom is the same as idleness.  You can be very busy and utterly bored.  Or still and quiet, and totally engaged.   Boredom is , according to the dictionary, the state of being weary through dullness repetition and tedium.   Or uninterested because of frequent indulgence or exposure.    Weary and uninterested sums it up nicely I think.  When we feel like this, particularly for any extended period of time, this is when the devil can seek us out and lead us into temptation.  

Ive spent a good deal of the past fifteen years feeling bored.  I found parenting young children incredibly boring.  It was exhausting and uninteresting , cripplingly repetitive and dull for the most part.  I know we arent really supposed to say it are we?  But I really did not enjoy spending six or seven years talking about babies and doing ' baby things'.   And since then life has mostly consisted of housework  ( I seriously envy those people who really enjoy housework) and doing a part time job which I do enjoy but which doesnt particulalry engage the brain cells.   There have been times over the past few years when I have teetered on the brink of doing things I shouldnt in order to inject a bit of excitement into my life.  Don't worry, I havent been planning a bank robbery or  contemplating becoming a professional gambler.   But I can actually understand why some people do go off the rails just because their lives are dull.

When our lives become routine we are in danger of being lured away from the straight and narrow paths by the bright lights and excitement of sin city.  Spending unwisely, eating wrongly, watching forbidden fruits on the telly or internet, having an affair,  developing unhealthy interests or perhaps just sinking deep into depression and despair...... none of which are what God wants for us.   It's true, we cant expect life to be exciting and dynamic all the time.  We wouldnt survive it if it was.  We have to suppose that for stretches of life things might well be routine and hum drum.    But we do need to look out for each other and make every effort to identify the ' weariness and disinterest'  in our friends and family.   We need to be accountable for our moods and share our disappointments and frustrations with each other so that we can avoid temptation and keep our eyes on Jesus.  We need to be kind to ourselves ( and to those around us) and look for opportunities to bring some light relief, enjoyment, excitement in good healthy ways so that our enemy has no foothold